Granny's Handbag

This is a gran, she looks like a man

In drag, what's in her bag

There's a

Felt pen, some nice lipstick

A chocolate bar and a red house brick

Penguin, a pair of shoes

Jewel encrusted elephant poo

Blue comb, a boy named Tom

Ten ton nuclear bomb

Sniper rifle, telephone

Big black cat and a traffic cone

In Granny's handbag

In Granny's handbag

That's right you've guessed, the biddy is dressed

In rags, what's in her bag

There's a

Beer can, a Polaroid

Tube of cream for your haemorrhoids

Red guitar, the number ten

T-bone steak and a dog named Ben

Pink slippers, slimy fish

A big and grey satellite dish

Baby spoon, electric fan

A turban and an Indian man

In Granny's handbag

In Granny's handbag

There's a

Lizard egg about to hatch

Pirate wearing an eye patch

Bowling ball, a song from Kiss

A vile of tropical cat piss

Mary Poppins photograph

A big joke book that'll make you laugh

Laptop, an apple pie

Squirrel turd and a swarm of flies

Motorbike, a piece of cheese

Copper tubing, bag of peas

Ornamental Chinese fan

Roll of tape and another gran

In Granny's handbag

In Granny's handbag